Yes Minister was such a brilliant insight into the real workers of the levers of power that the book was on my university’s reading list. Today I am reminded of the episode when Jim Hacker proudly announces that he is to be the new head of a coordinated national transport plan. Only to be told by his civil servants that he will therefore be responsible for every traffic jam, road work, cancelled train and slow bus in the country.
I wonder if Lord Frost has seen that episode? Since he is now in charge of delivering the UK’s new relationship with the EU, which he negotiated, I assume he hasn’t. The reaction to the appointment from Michael Gove, enthusiastic support, suggests he has. Not only will Lord Frost now have to spend his working life in committee meetings with the EU but without a vote, he is now also in charge of everything that happens as a result. Can he get better access for British fish to the EU market, help musicians on tour, solve the NIP and create a smooth border at Dover? Probably not.
Which brings me to the related topic of red tape, business organisations are being pressured by the Government to find red tape that can be cut as a result of Brexit. You might think a Brexit supporting government had a long list already but they don’t. Nor will the government be pleased to hear that some businesses have made clear the red tape they would like the Government to get rid of includes: new border delays, new export paper work, new complex VAT rules and new checks on their exports to the EU. All the result of Brexit.
Perhaps Lord Frost can deal with that too, after his “courageous decision” to join the Cabinet.
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Sir Humphrey: Minister, Britain has had the same foreign policy objective for at least the last 500 years: to create a disunited Europe. In that cause we have fought with the Dutch against the Spanish, with the Germans against the French, with the French and Italians against the Germans, and with the French against the Germans and Italians. Divide and rule, you see. Why should we change now, when it’s worked so well?
Hacker: That’s all ancient history, surely?
Sir Humphrey: Yes, and current policy. We had to break the whole thing [the EEC] up, so we had to get inside. We tried to break it up from the outside, but that wouldn’t work. Now that we’re inside we can make a complete pig’s breakfast of the whole thing: set the Germans against the French, the French against the Italians, the Italians against the Dutch… The Foreign Office is terribly pleased; it’s just like old times.
Hacker: But surely we’re all committed to the European ideal?
Sir Humphrey: [chuckles] Really, minister.
Hacker: If not, why are we pushing for an increase in the membership?
Sir Humphrey: Well, for the same reason. It’s just like the United Nations, in fact; the more members it has, the more arguments it can stir up, the more futile and impotent it becomes.
Hacker: What appalling cynicism.
Sir Humphrey: Yes… We call it diplomacy, minister