Last night my wife and I looked on amazed at an inane Thames Water advert with a cuddly toy, boasting about how they are fixing the capital’s sewage and water system.
Mindless propaganda by a failing business, we thought.
I woke this morning to hear the amazing news that the water industry, including Thames, has issued a mea culpa, apologised for the terrible state of the sewage system in the UK and promised to spend £10 billion putting it right.
And then, good god, the news ended with the fact that the £10 billion cost will be added to our bills, as presumably will be the cost of mind numbingly stupid adverts.
Can’t you just see what happened?
The water company bosses realise they have a serious image problem, they read the papers and follow social media, they are fast becoming pariahs.
There is the real threat of nationalisation or at least massive fines and new regulation. They call in the very, very expensive PR agencies which specialise in turning around such problems. They suggest acting together, that they promise to do better, make a fresh start, and clean up the mess they have created.
The bosses agree and then decide that they only one part of the master plan needs improving, they aren’t paying a penny for this, their customers will.
PR bosses leave with huge cheques but with their heads in their hands.
A better illustration of the tone deaf, arrogant, uncaring, cynical, lack of self awareness that running a monopoly creates it would be harder to find.
A worse attempt to turn your public relations around it is harder to imagine.
In politics this is the kind of thing that leads to the president for life making a dash for the airport and spending more time with his Swiss bank account.
Any decent regulator or political leader would call in the water bosses, thank them for their kind offer and tell them they are delighted that the water companies are finding the £10 billion themselves.
That is unlikely to happen but the water companies should do it anyway. This PR re-launch is so bad, so inept, so insulting that they are now political fair game.
The broke it, they own it. I’d vote for that.
Economics, trade and Brexit, not necessarily in that order but the dog always comes first.
Wasn't this always the real point of privatising public utilities and services?
Private monopolies with private profits, and publicly underwritten liabilities and debts? The perfect scam.